2023 Class 1

The year of 2023 sidled up with a brand new January, appearing as a fresh page in the annuals of life's oft peculiar diary. My journey had taken me, with the grace of a newborn moose on a frozen pond, to the land of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu - an environment as familiar to me as quantum physics to a goldfish.

They greeted me with warm smiles, the kind usually reserved for people who weren't about to grapple with other humans on a padded floor. The gym throbbed with the sort of energy that has a way of making your sweat glands work overtime. Everyone else seemed to be surfing this energetic wave, whilst I felt like I was trying to ride a unicycle.

Then there were the kids, finishing up their class before the adult class, who carried an air of the self-assured, the kind you get from knowing your way around. They moved with the synchronicity of a well-rehearsed poem of combat, their bodies speaking the language of fighting with a fluency I could barely comprehend.

The order of the day was the leg sweep, an artful move executed from the ground. Its principle was as uncomplicated as getting a donkey up a flight of stairs: topple your opponent, draw them onto your turf, and claim victory. Simple to grasp, as difficult to master as whistling through a mouthful of crackers.

The showstopper was what they called "rolling". It was less of a ballet and more of a maelstrom, where bodies became a whirlwind of determination, energy and more than a little friction. My stamina felt like it was up against a charging rhino.

Yet, in the middle of all this sweat, exertion, and strangeness, I found a certain spark. A new sport to understand, a fresh playbook to decode. A brave step into a world that seemed daunting, but also glimmered with the possibility of becoming truly extraordinary.

Keep your shell hard and your roll steady. Oss, turtles!